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Babies Are Jerks

My baby is a jerk - sometimes. Today, I had one of those afternoons that was frustrating for both of us. Nearly an hour of my day was lost to a very upset 3-month old, who was not consoled by a diaper change, swaddling, burping, eating, swaying, sucking on his pacifier, or my plea for him to stop crying. I think he eventually gave up on my ability to figure out what he needed and (after what seemed like an eternity) fell asleep. For 40 minutes. Which was just long enough for me to pay some attention to my toddler, finish cooking dinner, and sit down to eat. Then, he cried again - off and on until it was time for bed, for which he fell asleep almost immediately.

It's a wonder I get to eat at all some days. And the whole time he was upset, I just kept thinking, "what a jerk."

And then came the rabbit hole, down which I remembered that he also peed on me this morning, spit up after every feeding, and required a clothing change twice (I too had to change my shirt). Yeah, what a jerk.

As I watch my baby boy sleep sweetly through the video monitor, I am reminded that parenthood ebbs and flows. For as much as I think he's a jerk, I am also in awe of his smiles, giggles, and obvious admiration for me, his one and only mama. Even on our worst days - like today - I wouldn't trade any of it. He may be a jerk sometimes, but he's my jerk.

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