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Mom-shaming Be Gone!

Today I listened to a presentation given by a pastor's wife about where we, specifically mothers, find our value and how we identify how much we're "worth." It got me thinking about this concept of "mom-shaming," something I was unfamiliar with until I myself became a mother. Or at least I thought I was unfamiliar with it ...

Before I was a mother, I was so quick to judge other mothers. Having grown up around my mom's daycare, and then working in a preschool for a few years, I thought I knew a lot about the raising of children. And then I had my own, and learned that I didn't know much of anything.

Mom-shaming, as I understand it, is passing judgment on another mom's choices with regards to how she cares for her children. It starts early, with new moms feeling judged for things like using formula instead of breastfeeding or for going back to work instead of staying home (or staying home instead of going back to work). No matter what we do, there will always be someone who thinks there's a better way.

What I took away from today is that my children were made for me. I am going to take the best care of my children, the best way I know how, which often includes a LOT of trial and error. Not only did I realize I didn't know what I was doing when I brought my first baby home (and then realizing I still didn't know with the second because each baby is different), I too have felt judged by others for the choices I have made for my children, even though I feel confident about those decisions and learned from the ones that could have been better.

My worth as a mother is not rooted in how others view my parenting choices - it's rooted in trusting my instincts (which are most often right) that I'm doing the best I can, it's rooted in finding the confidence to trust myself and to ask for help when I need it. And just as much I want others to stop judging me, I need to also be careful not to pass judgment on other mothers who are doing the same thing. They too have the right to be confident in their decisions and be trusted that they are doing their best.

Mom-shaming - be gone! We mamas must stick together, support each other, ask for help when we need it, and find contentment in a sometimes seemingly thank-less job.

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